


Of Conflict and Cuddles

by inkyandness



Category: Nomad of Nowhere (Web Series)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, Touch-Starved, Useless Lesbians, Useless Sapphics, kinda shippy but ehh, the dandy-lions are mentioned and have a few larger roles whoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 09:56:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15683070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkyandness/pseuds/inkyandness
Summary: Toth was at the top, and when you’re at the top, you’re kinda stepping on a lot of people to maintain your position at the top. If you treat them right, some are complacent in it. Some question and challenge you, trying to throw you off balance, and then, there are some who will only be happy when they can see you fall, and climb for that position of power themselves.Red Manuel was like that, the smug asshole.(In which Skout and the Dandy-Lions have to intervene to prevent a fight to the death, and Skout and Toth talk things out for a bit.)





	Of Conflict and Cuddles

Finding the Nomad was not the easiest task that was at hand, but it was comparatively easier for Toth to chase an effectively faceless apparition across the badlands than it was for her to get her troop to actually _listen_ to her. She held nothing against her men personally, and did genuinely enjoy the company of Jethro and Santi and such, but, Toth had to face the facts at some point or another.

Toth was at the top, and when you’re at the top, you’re kinda stepping on a lot of people to maintain your position at the top. If you treat them right, some are complacent in it. Some question and challenge you, trying to throw you off balance, and then, there are some who will only be happy when they can see you fall, and climb for that position of power themselves.

Red Manuel was like that, the smug asshole.

He was always trying to throw Toth off her rhythm, and not in a fun “street smarts” way, but as a way to buck her authority, cause others to question her mostly logical orders, and claim the title she had worked hard to claim for himself. 

If he didn’t like her leadership, why did he even join her forces in the first place? Did he really think he could lead this force? She was stronger, she was faster, and she may not be a bookworm like her spittoon girl seemed to be, but she knew more about the heat of the battle than he ever could.

Toth was almost ashamed to admit how much she despised the man, but also how much she thought about how much she despised the man, time and time again she would up incidents that should be old hat at this point, but still really annoyed her. Skout would sometimes listen to her rants while she sharpened her knives and grinded her actual axe to ignore the axe that she had an axe to grind. 

She and him were playing a dangerous game at this point, they’d been having arguments every time they had a spare moment, and it had become clear at one point or another, that it was going to get ugly very soon if one of them didn’t cool off and cool it with the heckling, the slight violence, the death threats…

And by soon, that basically meant right now.

It was an unbearably hot, unbearably boring day of driving, driving, and more driving.

Some other members of the Dandy-Lions and Toth had pulled their wagons aside to study a map of their trek so far across the Badlands. On one hand, they had no way to know if they were going in the right direction, given that there was no way to actually know if the Nomad was really anywhere without catching him themselves, or hearing that they had just missed him, but, on the other hand, Jethro was certain that they had passed that Saguaro cactus for the third time that day, and the others were starting to agree, so Toth had pulled them all over to look over the map of the area they had picked up in the last time, and hoped for the best.

“Face it, Toth. You are lost. You have no idea what you’re doing.” Said a drawling voice from behind Toth’s back. She grimaced, and the men shared a look of both exasperation, fear, and “yeah, this might as well happen” with each other.

“I’m sorry, but are you trying to imply that you could do better?” She said, no longer studying the map.

“Apology accepted,” he said with a grin, and that got Toth to actually turn around and face him, arms crossed. “And, yes. I mean, everybody always talks about how big and strong and fast and tough you are, and we get it, but, these men have been through the same things that _you_ have, the same things that _I_ have, so who’s to say that they aren’t as tough as you? Who’s to say that you’re more deserving of this captain title than they are? Than I am?”

_Toth was lucky that the Dandy-Lions saw this job mostly as a way to be guaranteed a nice pair of clothes and water rations on the daily, and that their “disrespect” was more “apathy” than anything else, otherwise they may have actually turned against her. Of course, Red Manuel revealed his cards a bit too soon and-_

“Do I need to prove it to you?” Toth said, her voice as cold as ice.

_-Oh El Rey, she was actually going to take his bargain. Of course she would. This is Toth. Nobody could or would ever call her a coward, but nobody could actually call her that wise either. They should probably find Skout. Yeah, Skout. Skout was good. A bit soft, but she seemed to work wonders on Toth’s temperament._

“Perhaps, but what kind of leader would you be? Picking fights with innocent soldiers who-“ and just then, the edge of a blade was placed dangerously close to Red Manuel’s throat.

“You are no innocent soldier, it’s insolence. If I have to make an example of you to get respect around here, then I will.”

“You don’t have the guts.”

_Ohhh El Rey, he is that nobody. They were lucky to find Skout so soon, sleeping inside of the covered wagon that Toth and her rode in, curled in upon herself._

Null took it upon himself to be the one to gently shake her awake.

“Huhhh…What’s that?” She asked sleepily, rubbing sand and visions away from her eyes. Before any of them could tell her, Red Manuel yelled from the distance.

“Remember Toth, no knives, no guns, no nothing. We begin in 10 minutes. This is a brute force battle. Let’s see if you can be the man you’re always pretending to be.” He said, walking to his wagon. Toth snarled at the comment and stalked over to the wagon Skout was sleeping in previously. Skout sighed. This again.

“Yeah, hold on.” She said, much more awake but also a million times more tired, with the unspoken deal here being that the trio had to deal with Red Manuel. She slid on her gloves and ruffled her hair a bit before running across the cracked desert rock to meet Toth at her side. She grabs onto Toth’s arm with her small hands, feels the usual pleasant jolt, and Toth brushes her off, a bit more forcefully than necessary. That was strange, Toth seemed to be desperately needing touch, to the point that a mere brush of Skout’s arm or a brief touch of hands seemed to relax her most of the time. Not visibly of course, but Skout could feel her flinch and see her shoulders fall, just a tad. Plus, the fact that she only allowed such touches from Skout made her feel like she held the desert sun inside her chest, but now she was being pushed aside. That hurt. The gesture hurt, but if Skout didn’t stop her, somebody else might actually be injured. “Toth! Toth! This is a really bad idea.”

Toth sighed at the girl, and rolled her eyes, but remained as angry and as tense as ever while she searched for her canteen in the back.

“I-I mean, you’re a great captain, with lots of great ideas, but this one, like, specifically, isn’t one. What kind of commanding officer gets into a fisticuff with a lower ranking soldier?” Toth stilled at that one, but rolled her eyes. Toth was a “fight first, ask questions later” kind of person, which worked well to her advantage most of the time when dealing with thugs and criminals, the kind of people she was often hunting down and searching for, while Skout was the exact opposite. A lady of logic, a person of reason, somebody that could look an innocent civilian in the eye and be willing to cooperate with them. 

Their opposing methods worked on dynamically different people, but that’s not to say that they haven’t attempted to use their methods on each other before. Toth may yell and gesture dramatically and forcefully, but she would never threaten or even think of using physical force against her spittoon girl, and Skout would gently guide her in the direction of cooperation and pacifism whenever she could, but she never tried to preach or moralize to her.

That is, she never tried to preach or moralize to her _before._

“Doesn’t this just make you look insecure? I mean, the big, strong, perfect leader who can’t take criticism and will fight all who oppose her?”

Toth sighed. On one hand, that did look pretty bad, but on the other hand, what else could she do if he just wouldn’t listen to her? She had to get this man to respect her somehow as his _commanding officer_ considering he was acting like a _child._ If she has to discipline him like a school teacher to some whiny brat, then so be it.

“Don’t get me wrong here, Toth.” Skout said, gesturing with her hands a bit, “I genuinely think that Red Manuel should stop all this mutiny stuff, just for his own sake alone, but I don’t think this one fight will just…Get him to stop, you know?”

Toth did know. Toth knew very well that beating him into submission wouldn’t really stop him, and it could possibly backfire on her, but it’s been _days,_ and it’s been _hot,_ and she’s _tired._

“So, you’re gonna try to stop me?” Toth supposed, crossing her arms. Her anger was still bubbling at the surface, so Skout would have to tread lightly if she was genuinely attempting to soothe her. “Tell me about what you do and go hug a cactus or something?” This seemed to be Toth trying out a joke to assure Skout that she wasn’t going to take her anger out on her, but the bark of a laugh she cackled shortly afterwards did seem to frighten the smaller girl given how she flinched, which Toth felt some remorse for.

“No.” Skout said. “I don’t get angry.” Toth would have almost rolled her eyes at that statement, because of _course_ Skout was always calm and rational, and she had to be the one who was always on the verge of a meltdown of some kind, but it was the way she said it. She sounded tired.

“I used to when I was little. I got angry a lot. I would go all red in the face and I’d shake and I’d sound like a tea kettle, heh, it’s funny to think about now…” Skout’s voice sounded a bit shaky and fragile, like if Toth made a single noise she’d just shatter like glass, so she said nothing, and Skout simply moved to sit inside the wagon with Toth, her canteen long been forgotten. 

“I always felt bad about it too, because, it’s not like I’d hurt anyone or break anything, but everybody’d always talk about how nasty my temper was, how nobody would want to talk to me if I was ready to go off the rails at all times? I guess in an attempt to curve it? I don’t know.” Skout shrugged and hugged her knees. 

“I guess it worked, because, I, I used to be so angry about everything. Angry in the righteous fury sense, like, like the fact that The Oasis practically robs people blind of their values be that their talents or their riches for a single glass of water, because, you know, that’s kinda wrong but we’re not getting into that here.”

“I used to be mad. And I was mad for a long time, but…That passion, and righteous fury, and all that stuff kinda got…Snuffed out after a bit. What used to be anger turned to apathy, exhaustion…Anxiety.” She chuckled a little, and looked back at Toth, who was still tense and still angry, but her brows had become less furrowed, and her eyes looked a bit kinder, a bit softer, maybe just a bit more tired, but that could just be self-projection here.

“Aw geez, I made it about myself, didn’t I? I-I’m sorry, I just, I, I don’t know how to help you, is what I’m trying to say.” Skout stuttered, looking very nervous, and rubbing at her arm with a certain kind of anxious fervor. “But I want to, so…If there’s anything you need me to do, or, or if you want to talk, I’m, I’m here.” 

Toth thought on things for a moment. Skout wasn’t normally this open about herself as a person. She would talk about things she liked, things she didn’t, facts and figures she knew, but, these were things that she could speak about with anybody on a casual level, she didn’t talk about _herself._ Her past, her present, her future…Were foggy and vague. She mentioned them flippantly, but that was that.

Toth talked about her timeline less than that, out of discomfort, fear, protection, and just to…Enjoy herself for a bit. Hunting down the Nomad would always be her number one goal till he was caught, but there was a simple sort of bliss to it that cleared her head of her worries and her shoulders of the burden that weighed upon her, or at least, kept it from crushing her.

However, now there was a literal, actual weight on her back, in the form of Skout hesitantly hugging her. It could've totally been a headlock or something, but no. Skout, foolishly, was deciding to express affection towards Toth. _Toth._

She had no idea what she must’ve been thinking to pull this on the same woman who hasn’t even returned a handshake to most of her soldiers, and only held Skout’s hand that one time because of her forcing her to. Well, Skout can’t really “force” Toth to do anything she doesn’t want to do, but the point has been made there. Skout pulled a stunt that should get her killed.

Except…Toth made no effort to kill her. No effort to get even more mad than before. Didn’t even try to touch her.

Toth didn't really relax, but that was probably because how foreign the sensation really is to her. She’s Captain Toth. Fierce, angry, somebody who doesn't care about other people, not even herself. People didn't try to get “buddy-buddy" with Toth. People usually didn’t even try to touch her outside of life-or-death situations.

“Is this weird? Is, is this too weird? Did I make it weird?”

Of course, Skout isn’t “people.” Skout’s….Skout. Loyal to a fault, as well as anxious and awkward.

“I, uh, I made it weird, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry about this disrespect and-“

“Skout.” Her voice helped ground the other girl as she began to leave the hug, she sunk back in place and waited for Toth to say more. “There’s,” her voice wavered. Toth coughed into her hand. She felt her face while doing so, it had a strange prickly warm feeling to it, kind of like when she was mad, but like, not mad. It felt kinder. Softer. Lighter. “There’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing.” Toth had no idea what she was doing here. “I would’ve preferred if you asked first, but if this is what you would consider an effective…Coping strategy, I'll go along with it.” A few seconds passed, “for the sake of the Dandy-Lions. We're losing valuable daylight out here because a _ketchup bottle-looking brat_ decides to pick fights with me.”

Skout cringed at how Toth clenched her fists at the mere idea of Red Manuel and gave Toth a harder squeeze in her hug, where her hands once crossed over the front of her chest, the palms now rested on her shoulders. “You know, you could always just…Hug me, to get your anger out?” And that’s when Skout had sealed her tomb. She had just asked Toth to enter into a hug. A _cuddle session,_ if you will. 

Toth looked at her, confused, and did a little head tilt where her brown bangs fell over her desert sand eyes, and Skout’s heart squeezed. “I’m not mad at you.”

Skout laughed. More out of anxiety than anything else. “N-No, I meant that, that uh, you could…Hug back?” Oh Rey, Oh Rey, Oh El Rey himself this was the dumbest thing Skout could’ve ever done. She _hugged_ Toth, though whether or not her draping herself over her could be considered a hug is debatable, she made her _uncomfortable,_ given how stiff and unyielding she seemed to be, and seemed to only be taking part in this to maybe spare Skout’s feelings, and now she asked her if she could _hug back._

This was the worst, this was the absolute worst. 

…However, after saying that, Toth seemed to…Bend a little. Soften. Almost as if she was actually receptive to Skout’s touch, before she sighed and rolled her eyes and stuck out her arms. 

“If anybody else ever knows of this, they’ll have to keep me from fighting you instead.” Toth said, her voice tired, but arms eager. Skout could tell this was an empty threat, but she hummed and nodded all the same. She let go of Toth and crawled in front of her. She laid her smaller legs on top of Toth’s thighs, wrapped her arms around her, and buried her head into her chest. Toth was a little taken aback, but ended up putting a single, slightly shaky hand on Skout’s back.

Toth didn’t feel angry anymore. Or at least, not _that angry_ anymore. It was more of an empty feeling. She must’ve been crawling down from the emotional high she had been sitting at for the past 5 minutes, but the feeling was replaced by something else almost immediately. Something softer and warmer and kinder. Something…Something that made her nervous? Having Skout curled up against her reminded her of a cat falling asleep in somebody’s lap, and, as the law states, you are not allowed to wake up the cat, so Toth didn’t move.

Toth hesitantly placed another hand on Skout’s back, and she hummed contentedly. “See, Toth? Isn’t this nice?”

It didn’t emotionally fulfill her anger the same way punching Red Manuel into a bloody pulp would, but it did…Something else for her. It didn’t exactly erase her anger, but rather, put it on a back-burner instead. Toth nodded, not trusting her words at the moment, and Skout beamed at her, her gap giving her mouth this quirky-cute kind of look, before she burrowed her head back into Toth’s chest. Toth could feel her face heating up. She didn’t know why, this was all very confusing, but, she didn’t move an inch.

The two of them stayed like that for 5 whole minutes, before one of the Dandy-Lions knocked on the side of the wagon, to see the state of things. Red Manuel had been convinced that fighting Toth would basically be like fighting a muscular god, and had sort of backed out, but Toth’s decision would be the one that they’d actually have to take as gospel, given that she’s their captain, as well as the buffest one there.

She crawled out of the wagon. “There will be no fight. It’s unprofessional and I’d expect better from soldiers of Don Paragon.” The men and Skout seemed to let out a quiet sigh of relief. Red Manuel may unfortunately get to live another day, but then again, so would Toth. “This incident killed the little daylight we had left, so we’ll continue our trek in the morning. Dismissed.” A silence hung over the crowd, it felt heavy, but at the same time, weightless.

While the men set up their sleeping bags for the night, they couldn’t help but issue a silent “thanks” to Skout. Nobody could explain it, Toth and Skout were just good together. Good for each other. Toth’s temper was softened by Skout and in turn, Skout’s anxieties were put to rest by Toth’s mere presence, and she was encouraged to be more brave, be more daring. Maybe Skout wasn’t just good for Toth, maybe Toth was good for Skout as well.

On that note, they also made a silent vow to not mention the fact that Toth crawled back into the wagon where Skout was immediately after issuing her statement, and how Skout giggled a little when she did. 

So, they didn’t.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey-o! I wanted to get this out before the other half of season one comes out and just effectively destroys me as well as any of the dubiously canonical events of the story. Also me? Projecting my own emotional issues onto characters to cope? It's More Likely Than You'd Think.
> 
> Also a huge thanks to @awesomewizard7, for not only helping me fill the tag, but also just letting me rant and rave to you and at you about this story and others.
> 
> Tumblr:  
> https://juliastartoons.tumblr.com


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